The Birth of True Patience

After having lost over 117 lbs., I find myself getting very impatient with myself and the process.  I started seeking greater health in January 2013 and now a mere 18 months later I am nearing the end of my weight loss journey.  Less than five pounds stand between me and my goal.  Why do those last few pounds seem greater than the over 117 lbs that came before them?  Has my vision shifted?  I think so. I have been looking at 5 lbs at a time as I proceeded on my journey.  My next goal should be to reach 120 lbs gone, is that my focus? NO!  I am thinking of the 122 lb milestone.  Why can’t I stay focused on the 5 lbs in front of me?  Is it because I am less than 5 lbs to my goal?  Why am I seeing such a push me pull me at this juncture of my weight loss?  Lose 3 gain 1, back and forth! It is getting frustrating!  Why is this frustrating?  Why do I feel like my nerves are getting thin?   I feel like a tennis ball being batted back and forth.  I don’t doubt reaching my goal, I just am starting to doubt WHEN it will happen!  Why can’t I keep focused on the five pounds in front of me?  Why I am I trying to rush the process?  Impatience!

I try to be good and encourage others when they hit a snag on their journey but though I “know” these feelings will pass and the goal will be reached, I still find I am getting so frustrated with myself!  I know consistency and keep on keeping on is the way to go, just my brain doesn’t want to remember this sometimes!

 

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Patience 35

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