Being Thankful – Because sometimes we forget…

Today is an American Holiday called Thanksgiving.  It is awesome that our nation will put aside a day to recall what they should be thankful for, especially in our current political climate.  This is my favorite holiday, not because of the food, though that is awesome but because of what the holiday represents.  An attitude of thankfulness, gratitude and focusing on something other than ourselves.

Lately I have found myself not feeling thankful or grateful but more anxious and stressed.  I went on vacation where I was able to relax and enjoy things as they came without planning.  I didn’t always make good healthy food choices but I tried to be mindful of what I was eating though I wasn’t tracking.  This was my first time not tracking in two and a half years.  It was a nice break but I see that I need to track whatever I eat or drink as I experienced the biggest gain ever since I started Weight Watchers in January 2013 and reaching my goal in July 2014.

In the last couple of months, I have been strength training and I watched my number on the scale climb upward though my clothes or measurements didn’t change much except I gained one inch in my bicep.  Both of my trainers kept telling me that I shouldn’t be upset about the numbers on the scale as that wasn’t the only measurement of progress (I think I have said that before myself) BUT now I was focusing on the scale and not noticing that I had in 8 weeks tripled many of the weights I was able to lift.  And now returning from the 9 day cruise and seeing the number on the scale has had me stressed out.  My trainers again reminded me that whatever I gained on the cruise was not permanent. (I think I have said this before myself).  Now I am the one who needed reminding of those things I have been trying to remind others about when they are facing difficulties.  I am thankful for Rachel and Michael my trainers who reminded me of the very things I had forgotten myself.   Even if I do not like the number on the scale on Saturday morning, I can be thankful that it is far less than I weighed 2 years ago!

When I was out walking today, I remembered how thankful I was that I was able to walk, being in warm weather, having a good mother to walk with, having a huge extended church family, living in such a wonderful neighborhood, my health and a dog that loves to walk as much as I do.  Yes I have a lot to be thankful for!  This year I am very thankful for the wonderful and special opportunities I was  blessed to experience.

Thanksgiving 1

Weights and Balances (Year 3 Issue 26) November 25, 2015

WB Nov 25 2015

Getting hung up on “numbers” (Mind Games)

The last month or two, I have found myself getting very hung up on the “number” on the scale.  It is very frustrating to say the least.   I have put myself back into weight loss mode (out of maintaining mode) trying to get to a number I want to see on the scale.  I have for two weeks been very “strict” with myself and increased my physical activity.  My reward?  In two weeks, I am up 2.4 pounds.  Talk about frustrating!  But that is how weight loss rolls at times.  I have found myself starting to get discouraged over the two gains in a row.   I immediately started grilling myself on what I could have done “wrong” and how I can do more things “right” which isn’t all really bad.  The bad part is when I start getting the feelings of being a “failure” because I “gained” and not “lost.”  That is the mind shift that I am fighting from losing to maintaining and now trying to lose again.  More correctly feeling like I need to lose again.

In a week, I will be going to my yearly checkup at the primary care’s office.  No, I haven’t lost tons of weight since last year but the great thing is that I haven’t gained lots either!  If all goes well, my weigh in at the doctor’s office might show a slight loss since last October (maybe 3-5 pounds) which isn’t a biggie at all but in the BIG picture it is great in my opinion!  Because in the past when I have lost weight, within a year I started packing it on again, and often at least 20 pounds or more within the first year.   So even if I should a small loss, that in itself is a HUGE victory!  Even if I do not see the number on the scale that “I” want to see!

In the “big” picture the number is good, but in the ‘little’ picture in my head, I am not happy with it.  I have to start asking myself why am I not happy with it?  What is pushing/driving me to want to change the number?  I know I have had to “reset” some of my thinking but my brain is fighting hard at times!  I have to admit I am not feeling bad, my clothes are fitting fine, but I want to lose a few “extra” before I go on vacation.  I want a little extra “wiggle” room to enjoy but not over enjoy!