Tips for Making an Effective New Year’s Resolutions

How many of us have made New Year’s Resolutions and have forgotten them by mid-January?  Here are some tips/guides for making meaningful goals for the New Year

Keep it simple

  • Take small steps. Many people quit because the goal is too big requiring too much effort and action all at once; break your goals down to very small attainable steps
  • Don’t wait till New Year’s eve to make resolutions. Make it a year long process, every day. If something is important, do not put it off.  Resolve to do it today!

Make it tangible and specific

  • Focus on one resolution, rather several and set realistic, specific goals. Losing weight is not a specific goal. Losing 10 pounds in 90 days would be; Write down the steps you need to do daily to accomplish your goal.
  • Focus on the present. What’s the one thing you can do today, right now, towards your goal?

Make it obvious and sometimes public

  • Have an accountability buddy, someone close to you to whom you have to report;
  • Find a support group which meets weekly to help keep you focused on your goals.
  • Post your goals on social media can be a tool to help you keep focused too.

Keep believing you can do it

  • Focus your thinking on new behaviors and thought patterns. You have to create new neural pathways in your brain to change habits;
  • Celebrate your successes between milestones, no matter how small they might be!. Don’t wait to celebrate until the goal to be finally completed;
  • Be mindful. Become physically, emotionally and mentally aware of your inner state as each external event happens, moment-by-moment, rather than living in the past or future.
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously. Have fun and laugh at yourself when you slip, but don’t let the slip hold you back from working at your goal.

Happy 2017!

Chapter 1: Joining an Online Dating Site

I took it on myself to join an online dating site this past week and the first  few hours I received an overwhelming number of messages.  At first flattering, then it became flat out overwhelming.

In the past way past, when I attempted this previously, I found online dating overall to be a cesspool of people looking for one night stands.  There was an endless chain of seedy men wanting to “date” you (that is what they called it) and I called it something else entirely.

The online dating sites have not changed much in ten years.  Most are there for something really “fast” and not real.  There are gems to be had, but you have to dig for them and sift through many “noisy” messages.  I try to be polite and respond to all messages but the first 24 hours was plain exhausting.  But three men stood out and impressed me and I felt I needed to take time to know more about them.

The first messaged me and when I read his profile he was intelligent, professional and appeared to want some of the same things I did.   I was impressed.  Another man though not professional seemed real and genuine so yeah another man I felt I needed to communicate with.  And there was a third that I took it on myself to contact him.  He seems nice and worth knowing.

The first man who had messaged me very interesting and he seemed very grounded and really looking for a real relationship.  In corresponding with him I found out he knows how to talk the talk but not walk the walk in a little over 24 hours.  STRIKE ONE. Next!