CHAPTER 3: Who is really a click away?

Dear Universe,

I am still on my online journey in the dating world.  I want to share with you some people I have virtually “met”  but I will not use names to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Male #1 – Had a good picture and profile, appeared professional, intelligent and compatible.  We moved to emailing right away as he seemed to “fit” everything I was seeking in a man. I should have realized this was just too good to be true!  After beginning to email, in less than 48 hours, his “focus” had shifted from getting to know me and friendship to chatting about his sexual fantacies.  Boom.  NEXT!

Male #2-Had a goofy picture but a very well written profile.  In fact, his writing was very good and almost poetic.  The downside right off, he was very far away from where I live.  I do not mean 10 miles more like 3000 miles!  From this experience, I learned to set “filters” that allow only men from 50 miles or less from me to contact me. Male #2 and I emailed for a while and things then started to shift in his emails from getting to know me to wanting to know my every move.  He would constantly send me questions such as, “Where are you? What are you doing?  Who are you with?  Boom.  NEXT!

Male #3 – Was in my “filtered” list but I could not understand why as his profile said he lived about 35 miles from me.  His picture wasn’t anything special.  Why why do so many men on this website have ONE picture of themselves in sunglasses!  We want to see your eyes gentlemen!  Anyway, his message was asking me if I ever went to such and such a county.  I replied with a no, why do you ask.  His reply was because he wanted to meet me.   I replied with humor indicating there were roads in existence between his location and mine and I do not believe the police were blocking the roads.  Again, maintaining a sense of humor is paramount!  What would make a man think a woman who HE had contacted would come to him!?  I let my imagination lose on this one and thought perhaps an ankle monitoring bracelet was involved.  Another friend suggested perhaps the man did not own a vehicle!  I am not a taxi service! FLAG! In fact TWO flags on this play! Boom! NEXT!

Male #4- Had a great profile and picture.  Was age appropriate (More on this later)  and he was intelligent and could type and communicate very well.  He said he worked in the medical field, was understanding and seemed to be very easy-going.  He actually understood why women are not apt to give out too much personal information online to a total stranger.  YAY! We had great chats online and determined we had many things in common.  Someone I wanted to meet!

Male #5-Picture straight out of GQ Magazine! Movie star handsome but can we say FAKE? Not only was the photo fake he was a total fake.  He claimed to be a psychologist and lives about 300 miles from me and this was before I put on my mileage filter.  I thought that I would respond but I knew what I was going to encounter so I was ready for what I thought would follow as I knew this man was not “real” so this would be for giggles.  This mas demanded I give him my phone number in his first message to me. FLAG!  When I respectfully told him no and explained why, he came back with a retort trying to bully me into giving him my phone number.  FLAG!  This was my proof he indeed was not a psychologist and if he was really one he was a very bad one!  Boom! NEXT!

These first five males I feel reflect the types of men  you are apt to encounter on  dating website.  Statistics say one in six could be someone that is sincere and looking for something but I think it is more like one in five from my experiences.  I would summarize the males above as follows.

  • Male #1 – The man looking for sex is the most common type of man you will encounter online.
  • Male #2 – The man who is a dreamer and needs to face reality.  Not necessarily Peter Pan but wants to think beyond reality.
  • Male #3 – The man who seems clueless about women and dating and does not seem to know he is clueless.
  • Male #4 – The man who is a really what he appears, nice a good guy truly looking for something real.  This is a needle in a haystack but worth the hunt!
  • Male #5 – The man who is selfish, manipulative, controlling, bullies to get his way. All of this points to me that he truly despises women and is up to no good.

Only one of these five there was only one I wanted to meet, male #4.

Men have told me women message them and chat and ask them to send them money.  I have not encountered that with the males yet but I did have someone not age appropriate messages me and ask me if I was his mommy! Shaking my head on that one!  No, I did not bother to reply he was in my filtered list where he belonged as he was not what I felt was age appropriate for me!  The nice side of your filtered list is that you can read what messages sent to you even though they do not meet your age or distance specifications.  I have found a large number of people who message me in the filtered list suddenly do not have an active profile any longer either.  I wonder if they are married and about to get “caught” by their wife or maybe have met someone already or are one of those “fake” men trying to get someone who will allow them to act badly.

Stay tuned!

Below is a graphic I found online with some stats about online dating and tips for improving your profile picture.  Notice the “stretching” or “shrinking” of some of the facts!






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