Chapter 5: Dating and Weight Loss

Dear Universe,

Thinking about finding that special, someone can really be a mentally and physically taxing process that will challenge your healthiest of eating habits.  Yes, I am talking about added stress!   My healthy eating habits have been challenged as I have entered the dating world again.  Not because of where I am going on the dates and the food choices I make while out but the mental stress/baggage package that comes with the dating scene has been the culprit.  I have detached more from the whole process and have begun thinking more “whatever!” and let things be as they are meant to be which is far easier said than done.  One of the beauties “I” like about the man more than “does he like me?”  That is a major mental shift for me and a real stress reliever in itself.

As a part of my dating “battle plan” I have purposely increased my amount of healthy snacks within easy reach and have added a couple extra different pieces of whole fruit to my snack repertoire. This is to increase the likelihood of continuing to eat healthy as I navigate the online dating scene.

Another part of the “battle plan” has been to read about when to tell the prospective men about my major weight loss early on in the meeting process or later on.   I have found this to be dependent on the individual and not to be any hard and fast rule.  You have to let the situation guide you.  I have found most men to be extremely complimentary and generally supportive.  After age 40, more are concerned about good health and quality of life rather than the superficial side of weight loss.

Attention  is a two-edged sword in the dating scene.  I have to choose not to focus on the amount of attention I currently receive when compared the past as an overweight/obese woman.  The choices? I could choose to be angry with men who would not have given me the time of day are now seemed to be suddenly messaging me and seeking me out to chat or to meet.  But on the other hand, I fully understand that obese women are not attractive to some men.  Can you really condemn someone for their personal preferences?  While I know some men will choose to dismiss me based on the fact I used to be obese, others are impressed with my accomplishment and think the accomplishment is wonderful and amazing.  Some men are understandably fearful I might become obese again which the research has shown to be true as a great deal of people do regain the weight.  If they would choose to get to know me,  they will see I am diligently working on preventing that from happening.

In the dating scene, there are many fish in the sea do not let one person’s choices, preferences or prejudices taint your experience or make you question your own personal worth.

Happy dating!


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