I was not happy with my weigh in this past Saturday but life happens and the weight goes up a little. Last week, there were a lot of stressful situations and I did get through them without my eating going crazy, but I did not drink all the water my body needed either.
Yesterday began the “detox” as I did not bring any lunch to work or snacks. I had wanted to try Pollo Tropical for lunch as they have a good selection of freshly made foods. I made good choices at Pollo. I chose to order a Tropichop bowl (Regular, size as I didn’t know what size was Regular). For the base of the bowl I chose a Romaine Lettuce, topped with black beans and chopped grilled chicken breast. I added those choices, chopped tomatoes, onions, peppers and fresh salsa as the sauce! It was delicious! It was a lot of fun to try something new that doesn’t break the “points” bank!
This is key to my journey is to embrace and constantly try something new! A new recipe, a new food, a new activity or a new thoughts! New thoughts, , healthy thoughts are what I need to embrace more each day. Many days, I have found myself not being very nice to myself when I make a poor choice or choices, some days my thoughts have been good; other days so-so and some days don’t even go there! I need to practice the ways to handle negative thoughts mentioned below! Work lately has taken care of #2; been busy that there has not been any mindless snacking! At work sometimes presents, #3 unavoidable triggers but I have been working on thinking about those differently with a new perspective. Another change, I have been trying to get into bed at a consistent time and I have started listening to music before I try to fall asleep. I have been waking up feeling rested and refreshed the last two mornings. I do think that #5 has helped a lot! I have combined having a background music of relaxing nature sounds with instruments playing as I take time to pray. It is easier to keep my mind focused.
It is amazing how you can be humming along in your daily life and things seem to be going well with few bumps along the road then BAM something that changes your rhythm and flow comes along and helps you to reexamine what is important in life.
This past week I had my annual mammogram and was not expecting anything but hearing “you are good for another year, see you next year” so I was taken back when I heard “we need to do an ultrasound” followed by “we need to do more ultrasound” followed by ” you have something we feel we need to biopsy” followed by “the doctor wants to do his own ultrasound and compare the pictures” and then you realize your life could change and be out of rhythm for awhile.
How to respond? Disbelief, sadness or humor. I have learned in life that when I am nervous my “funny bone” tends to come out to help relieve my feelings of apprehension about the possible unknown that I am facing at the moment.
My phone rang while I was waiting on the doctor with someone asking me where they could get tested for COVID. That took my mind out of the current line of thinking and that was a good thing.
The doctor projected his ultrasound images live on screens as he was scanning. He then put up the images that the radiologist had viewed. What looked like a small bb was plainly visible. Just as round as a bb too. I blurted out that it looked like a pea or a bb and the doctor confirmed it was about that size too. Inside my head I thought I did not recall being shot by a bb not even in any of my strange dreams. Not a bb or a pea, but something that did not belong was there. They prepped for a needle biopsy and the doctor said he did not want to poke it but take it out but wanted to know what he was dealing with before removing it. That meant coming back for another test on another day but I was free to go back to the office at that point.
I had gotten out earlier than expected so I was happy that I might get back in time to catch a little of a staff meeting. Wrong! There had been a bad accident on I-75 and all the traffic had been rerouted to the road I was on. I noticed so many semis around me I felt I had landed in the middle of a Smokey and the Bandit remake and wished that I had a CB so I could find out what was going on. A 7 mile journey that should have taken 15-20 minutes at best ended up taking a whole lot longer more like 45 minutes. The lane I was in was bumper to bumper and barely moving. Other lanes seemed to be moving faster but I knew I needed to take a left hand turn so I stuck to my lane.
Sitting in traffic actually gave me something else to focus upon. It gave my mind time to refocus on something besides my medical issues. But when I arrived at work, I was emotionally drained and physically very tired. My mind might have been distracted but my body was not! I responded to emails and questions that were awaiting my return and finally ate lunch around 2pm. I kept busy but I was totally drained. I shared with some co-workers what was going on and a few suggested that I take the next day off. I shrugged that idea off and clung to my idea of keeping busy was best for me.
That night I did not sleep/rest much and when I alarm went off I spoke aloud “OH NO!” as I felt I had only closed my eyes and still felt drained. I relented and decided to follow advice and take the day off. I would monitor emails but made no promises. I needed that day. My body needed that day and my emotional psyche needed that day too. I am thankful for those that encouraged me to take that day off. How may times I have given the advice to others take care of yourself and yet I had not.
Tomorrow is back to work and to waiting on a call from the doctor’s office to schedule that next test that will invasively be able to tell if that “bb” is benign or cancerous. Self-care is something we often feel selfish for doing but sometimes it is the most selfless act we can do!
I allowed myself to sleep in on Saturday too. While I missed the WW Team, I needed to take care of myself for this time.
This is the wall art tagline that I saw while my car was being serviced.
All throughout our lives we try to build relationships that last. One relationship that we can expect to last is the relationship we build with ourselves. How do we treat ourselves when compared to how we treat others in our circle of relationships? Are we kind, gentle and understanding whenever a friend needs to talk with us about a struggle they are having? Do we make time for that friend? Do we emphasize? Do we give them a hug if they need it?
The Flip Side
How do we treat ourselves when we are struggling and facing obstacles? Do we give the same grace to ourselves as we give to others? The Biblical Scriptures instruct us in Matthew 22:37–39 to “love thy neighbor as thyself” we will instantly say we love our neighbor and treat them well. But the rest of the story, how do we love ourselves? If we do not love ourselves, how can we love others? Or can we?
How do we show our love of others? How do we show we love ourselves?
In our daily journey to greater health, we try to gauge our progress (success) and often that is on the weight scale. Sometimes we see progress and sometimes we do not. But that is not the end of the story nor the complete picture. Using only one measure of progress, such as the scale, is having blinders on to the whole process and creating a very narrow focus. This can lead to early overwhelming discouragement and not being able to continue the journey. You might find yourself saying “IT is not working, I CAN’T do this!” etc.
There are other measures we should be examining our progress (success). Examples of non-scale progress (success) are items like:
Walking without pain
Standing without pain
A waistband not squeezing us as tightly
Having more energy at the end of the day
Clearer and softer skin
Not snacking past a certain time
Choosing healthier foods
Controlling our portions
Feeling satisfied with eating less
Tracking our food intake honestly
Drinking more water
Maximizing our daily food budget
Not all progress (success) is measured in pounds and ounces. Every weigh in will not show a weight loss. This is normal! To help keep focused on our journey we have to look at the big picture, see the changes no matter how small and celebrate them.