The Email: I Held My Breath and Clicked “Submit”

I recently blogged about finding old unflattering photos of myself and said I would explain later why I was hunting up old photographs of myself when I was at my heaviest.  Here is why I was dredging out the old photos out of the box hidden in the closet.

I had been asked to locate and send to a producer those photographs to help them make a decision.  What decision you might ask?  I submitted my story/journey to Joy Bauer’s Joy Fit Club. To become a member the minimum weight loss you have had to achieve is to have lost one hundred pounds.  I can check that off, I had indeed accomplished that!  I went through her site and read many success stories and realized that many had lost much more weight hundreds of pounds.  I kept trying to be positive and think you never know until you try!

I started to select some pictures to attach.  What to select?  I found a few pictures to attach, took a deep breath and clicked on the submit button.  I could exhale now.  I had submitted my information no matter what the outcome would be.  I felt empowered!  I felt happy!  I felt proud! I felt accomplished!  I was giddy from excitement!  Now, the reality sank in, and my mind started talking to me to not expect any response and to know that to hear nothing did not negate my success.  I walked away from the computer and felt good about what I had accomplished in just the act of putting it “out there” for the show to view.

About 15 minutes later, I came back to the computer.  Not only did I get a response, they wanted my cell phone number so they could speak with me.  A few days later, I had a phone interview with one of the show’s producers about my weight loss journey.  She requested that I send them some additional photos to help them make a decision.   I was walking on air after the phone interview!  I was thrilled to be considered as a possible guest!   The producer had said they would make a decision next week.  Last week was “next week” and  I was away on a five night cruise.   I explained that I was going to be away on vacation and would try to check email in both Grand Cayman and Cozumel while I was on the cruise.

I tendered ashore in Grand Cayman to seek out free wi-fi to check my email.  I had 238 emails which were trying to download and among those emails was the one I was wanting to see!  I know it was a huge honor to just be considered for the Joy Fit Club and truly felt no matter what the outcome would be that I should be proud and happy to have reached my weight loss goals.  That a “no thank you” didn’t invalidate my journey nor my success.

I clicked to open the email; I read it about three times.  Then I looked at my mom and read it aloud to her, “We would like to invite you to be a guest….”  (and there were more words, but those are the ones I had to re-read several times).  Those words took my breath away!   And then my mind went on a wild journey of questions, thoughts and imaginings.

One little trip my mind went on was “Oh my!  I have to be really strict with my food choices!  I can’t gain an ounce!”   I heard my “perfectionist” voice try to rear its ugly head.  I had to shut it down quickly!   I knew that voice had ruined so many things in my past so it had to be silenced.  I let logic take over and knew that I could not re-gain 135 pounds in 3 more days no matter what unwise choices I might make!  A sense of calm came over me, and I thought that through the journey, I only had to be consistent at least 70% of the time to have great results!  Two days of the cruise were behind me and I had not gone crazy or made unmindful choices, I knew I could do this!  I did have a few indulgences, but they were planned ones.

When I returned from the cruise, I checked my scale on Sunday morning and I was up .6, yes that’s just  6/10ths of a pound, a little over a half a pound!   Yay me! This week, I am focusing on getting that .6 (and a little more) off before my official month Weight Watchers weigh in on Saturday Morning.

Now to keep focused on my health and journey and savor the experience.

Below are some of the now cherished mementos of my past freed from the dark corners of the storage closet.

Old Me Collage

Breaking Bad—Habits: Comfort Eating

This is  a continuation of the April 2, 2014 Weights and Balances on focusing on comfort eating.

In many cookbooks and websites, there are now sections on “comfort foods.”  What does the term “comfort food” imply?  It implies that you can eat these foods to attain or maintain a feeling.  That sounds oddly familiar like why a junkie needs his drug!  Moods tend to dictate what type of comfort foods that we seek out.  Happy moods seem to draw us to pizza and steak, whereas sad moods move us to seek out ice cream and cookies and bored people seek out potato chips.  I am a potato chip seeker! (or was)  More proof that I had an issue with eating from boredom! (Bad bad habit!)

We tend to over-feed emotions and thus gain weight.  We have to learn other coping strategies or we are doomed to keep fighting overweight.

Things to try to keep in focus:

  • Learn what triggers comfort eating in you (anger, feeling unappreciated, feeling hopeless, feeling out of control, boredom)
  • Learn to recognize real hunger signals (hallow feeling, mild gnawing sensation in your gut)
  • Keep of list of things you can do when you realize you are wanting to eat when not hungry
  • Find a “healthy” alternative comfort food
  • When faced with something highly fattening, take about four bites and call it quits, equal pleasure with much lower cost
  • Use moderation, learn to “live with” comfort foods by controlling your portion size of them  (individual servings not whole bags/boxes/cartons)
  • Do not skip meals; this will almost always lead to over-eating

I had someone once tell me that I had to work very hard to stay overweight.  Now I am really beginning to understand what that really meant.  Eating emotionally is a lifetime habit that is difficult to face but for lasting weight loss and greater health it has to be overcome.

Something to remember, when you slip up and eat emotionally, do not give up on yourself.  Self-forgiveness must happen and re-focus on making good choices at the next meal/snack/day. Staying focused on how far you have come and what you have learned from your mistakes will help keep you moving forward in your journey to long-term weigh loss success.

Mistakes 7Success 47Forgiveness 5

Weights & Balances (Issue #26) December 4, 2013

December 4 2013